February Issue

These differences take yet another form when it comes to the families in your youth ministry. Each student and family you work with has different household rules and family values. It’s not unusual to find that what’s allowed in one home is strictly forbidden in another home. Being sensitive to unique family values will increase your effectiveness as a youth leader.

Developing this kind of sensitivity can be difficult because families have different ideas when it comes to moral and social values. These may range from the types of movies students watch to the appropriate age for dating. Simply put, parents have different ideas about what’s best for their children.

As a youth leader, one of your roles is to understand where each family stands on certain issues so you can try to complement what’s happening in the students’ homes. You might not agree with some of the standards parents set for their teenagers, but it’s not your role to judge or disregard a family’s value system. It is your role to model a Christ-like life, point students toward biblical living, and encourage students to obey their parents. Avoid ever being a divisive force between parent and teenager. (Note: The only exception to this would be when a parent’s values collide with God’s Word and are harmful or illegal.)

Consider this list of some of the moral and social issues families face:

• age for dating
• use of language or slang
• views on dating, premarital sex, and cohabitation
• approved movies and books
• respect for rules and authority
• alcohol and tobacco use
• money

Pay attention to, and respect, the household rules of the students you work with. For example, if you have a student who needs to be home before 10 o’clock, don’t plan activities that break that curfew. Or if your students need to finish schoolwork or chores before they come to youth group, help parents by holding students accountable.

You won’t be able to know every rule for every student’s household, but you can be aware of what’s important to each family. The idea here is to send a strong message that you care deeply about families. You also want teenagers to hear that you support their parents and won’t contradict their values.

When you’re with parents, let them know you’re on board with what they’re trying to do with their teenagers—and you want to help them by being an advocate for their values and decisions.