Parent Newsletter

Here's a checklist for parents to use in the run-up to the new school year that can help make your home less "back-to-stress" and more "back-to-school."

Academics: Encourage your children to do their best, learn all they can, and do the best they can do. Intervene when they do not, and affirm them when they live up to their academic potential.

Anxiety: It's normal for students to feel stress over the upcoming school year. Make your home a calming, secure environment and reassure kids that their feelings are normal.

Calendar: Create a family calendar helps everyone keep up-to-date on what's going on and to help avoid scheduling conflicts.

Connect: Establish connections with school faculty, administrators, and staff who can help with your questions and provide direction for school-related issues as they arise.

Diet: Establish expectations for a healthy diet for your student. Think through breakfast and lunch preparation responsibilities.

Family Dinners: Set a schedule for regular family dinnertimes during the school year. This will help maintain family connections and allows for staying current with what's going on in each other's lives.

Homework: Establish expectations for your child regarding daily homework. Create a reasonable homework routine that allows for completion of daily assignments.

Physical Activity: Plan now to ensure your child has opportunities for regular, adequate exercise.

Scheduling: Remember the adage, no one can do everything. Help your kids set reasonable activity levels for participation in sports, clubs, and extracurricular activities.

Set a Positive Tone: Start talking positively about the new school year: classes, friends, and activities. Create positive anticipation.

Shopping: Get an early start by taking advantage of back-to-school sales now and to avoid the stress of shopping at the last minute.

Sleep: Adjust bed and wake-up times to create healthy school-year sleep patterns before the first day of school.

Transportation: If traveling by school or public bus, be sure to confirm bus stops and schedules. If carpooling, remember to connect and confirm schedules with the other parents involved.

Digital Self-Harm. Don't be surprised if you've never heard this phrase before. It's a recently identified condition. It's not a particularly widespread phenomenon but one, nevertheless, that is serious and worth understanding.

We are likely aware of the seriousness of bullying and particularly of cyber-bullying these days. Online cruelty, put-downs, and threats are the arena for cyber-bullying and we are aware of the ease at which social media can spread the messages far and wide.

You may have seen horror stories of kids who have been mercilessly bullied via social media and of tragedies when some kids have chosen to end their own lives as a result. Media outlets often flock to these types of stories and it's not uncommon for these to attack technology as the culprit.

But, what if it actually turns out that the teen is the originator of her or his cyber-bullying? This is what is known as Digital Self-Harm. It happens more than you might realize.

In 2012, the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center published a report about digital self-harm. Part of the research included a survey of 617 students on the prevalence of self-cyber-bullying among them. Ten percent of the students reported they had digitally self-harmed.

But why would a teenager engage in digital self-harm? Given the recent identification of the behavior, more research is needed to accurately determine the motivation behind digital self-harm. Yet it seems reasonable to surmise that digital self-harm is at least somewhat akin to physical self-harm: A means to respond to the emotional pain a teen is suffering in his or her life and often -- a cry for help. Teens might digitally self-harm...
- as an expression of one's poor self-image.
- as a means to assess how others' view her or him.
- as a means to assess whether peers will defend her or him when cruel or threatening posts appear.

What Parents Can Do...
- Above all, if your child has told you that he or she is being bullied via social media, don't hesitate to initiate a thorough investigation. Attempt to identify the origin of the cyber-bullying.
- If you find that your child has self-harmed digitally, see it as your child's cry for help and take immediate steps to help.

If you have children, then regardless of your own career or ministry aspirations and activities, one of God's primary callings on your life is that of godly parenting! This is a tremendously important and high calling! Parents are called not only to nurture their children to become independent and functioning adults, but to impart to them a spiritual legacy.

One of my greatest fears is that parents aren't investing the time and energy it takes to leave a spiritual legacy for their children. The average parent simply does not take a proactive role in building up the spiritual lives of their children. We may invest countless hours into our children's education and extracurricular activities, but when it comes to spiritual development, we too often allow circumstances and chance to affect how we manage our family life and especially that of our calling as parents.

When it comes to growing faith, much more is "caught" than "taught." The spiritual development of your kids is directly influenced by the example they see you setting at home. Kids have a highly tuned hypocrisy detector, so if you are tempted to project the illusion that you are a "perfect" Christian, please understand that your kids already know better, and this won't produce a vital Christian lifestyle in their lives. Rather, it's much better to intentionally live out a genuine faith in front of your children everyday; one that models what it means to follow Christ despite your struggles and failures. This teaches them what faith looks like as it's lived out in the real world, both when you are at your best and when you are at your worst.

Today, there is a fresh wind inspiring parents to take an active, intentional role in nurturing the faith of their children. Be a part of what God's Spirit is doing in this area! Fulfill your calling! Don't miss out on perhaps the greatest legacy you can pass on to your kids: a life that demonstrates a passionate pursuit of God and love for Him. Be reminded, encouraged and challenged: The process begins with you!