Parent Update

A recent study by researchers at UCLA and published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that teenagers' sleeping habits are highly influenced by their parents. Although teens and parents often went to bed and got up at different times, the duration of sleep, general bedtimes and wake up times for both were eerily similar -- with teens only averaging 17 minutes more of sleep than their parents on weekdays.

The study followed over 300 pairs of teens and parents for nearly two years, with researchers tracking the daily activities and sleep habits of the participants.

With the results of the study in mind, parents should evaluate their own sleeping habits, and make changes where necessary in order to role model behaviors that may result in improved sleeping habits by their teens.

Why it matters:
- Today's teens are notorious for not getting adequate sleep. A recent study found that in 2012, just 63% of 15-year-olds reported getting seven or more hours of sleep a night, a figure that is down from 72% in 1991.

- Researchers have linked the lack of adequate sleep for teens to a multitude of substantial adolescent problems including decreased level of overall health, poorer school performance, an increase in depression, and an increase in the likelihood of involvement in at-risk behaviors.

- In February of 2015, the National Sleep Foundation released updated recommendations on the amount of sleep teens and adult should get nightly. The updated recommendations were based on a review of published scientific studies and consensus from a panel of sleep, medical and psychological experts. The new recommendation for teens is 8 to 10 hours of sleep per night, and 7 to 9 hours for adults.

Getting your teenagers talking can be quite a challenge. You've probably had a conversation that went like this:

Parent: Did you have a good day?
Teen: Yeah.
Parent: What did you do?
Teen: Nothing.
Parent: Did anything exciting happen?
Teen: No.
Parent: Any plans for the weekend?
Teen: Not really.

Some of the challenge in parent-teen conversation is due to the type of questions parents ask. When parents ask questions that can be answered with one or two words, they usually don't lead to great conversations.

To get your family talking, try using open-ended questions that create the possibility for more engagement in conversation. These won't guarantee long answers from your teen, but the more thought you put into the questions you ask, the better the chances are that your kids will engage with you.

Here are some suggestions for open-ended questions which may help you get thinking about creating your own:

- What was your understanding of what happened when _____________?

- What would you like to see happen when you ____________?

- What do you think caused them to ____________?

- What were the two best things that happened to you today?

- What was the most surprising thing about your day?

- What do you hope your life will look like 10 years from now?

- How has your opinion of our family changed over the years?

- If you could change something about our family, what would it be?

- If you had to choose, what would you say is the best decision you've ever made?

- What sorts of things are most important to you in life right now?

During the teenage years kids' social lives begin to blossom and develop, often becoming the most important area of their lives.

The need for acceptance and belonging drives some young people into lives of moral compromise. Unfortunately, the desire to belong can sometimes be greater than the desire to live a life of non-compromise. Kids can view compromise as valuable if the end result is that their social group will accept them.

The priority of social development of adolescents is a good reason why parents should do whatever they can to get to know their teen's friends. Knowing your teen's friends will definitely provide insight into the morals and values that are influencing your son or daughter. In the process of getting to know your teen's friends, you will learn a lot about your own daughter or son as well.

Here are a few suggestions when it comes to getting to know your child's friends.

1. Never embarrass your kids in front of their friends. Doing so will lessen the likelihood that your kids will want to have their friends hang out when you are around.

2. Don't Act Like a Teenager. You're not one. Your kids know it. Their friends know it. Be friendly. Don't be overbearing when trying to get to know your child's friends. Be yourself.

3. Offer the Secret Ingredient for Friendship-Building. It's no secret that kids like to eat. And typically there's food around when we hang out with our friends. Take advantage of the food-friend connection by making sure you always have some "fun food" on hand when your kids bring their friends around.

4. Allow Kids to be "Kids." Sometimes teenagers just need to "let off a little steam." When they do, they might act a little weird at times. But as long as they're not doing anything illegal or immoral, just let them be. Don't constantly nag them about normal "kid" behaviors.

5. If space and resources allow, consider having a dedicated "kid-friendly" area in your home. It's a good idea to turn an unused room or space in your home into a "kid-friendly" area where your kids and their friends can hang out.  This way, as a parent, you can pop in periodically, have some interaction with the group, and then pop back out again.