MSM - July 2021

When my son Cody came home from a junior high camp, his cabin counselor told me, “Cody is such a good kid that I didn’t even have to watch him.” Yikes! I wanted to say, “You didn’t watch him? What were you thinking? Actually, you weren’t thinking!” I knew the comment was meant as a compliment, but it was definitely the wrong thing to tell a parent. Teenagers need to be cared for. And that care needs to be communicated.

Be responsible with confidentiality. A good leader is one whom students can trust and confide in. Building trust takes time and consistency. Knowing they can trust you helps students feel safe, and safety is essential to a teenager.

Let students know that you’ll respect their privacy and value their desire to share but that, in your relationship with them, nothing can be totally confidential. If a teenager tells you about something that may potentially harm the teenager or someone else, you have a responsibility to share that information with the appropriate authorities. (In most states, it’s the law.)

Be a responsible listener. A cautious listener doesn’t react immediately, so take time to discern the situation before you speak. A student could be sharing something with you at the height of an emotional situation. Be slow to respond until you see a clear solution. As you listen, recognize that there are always two sides to every story. For instance, when a teenager tears into his or her parents’ character, be a cautious listener, realizing the parents’ side of the story is probably different from the one you’re hearing.

Be responsible with basic safety. This might seem obvious to you, but I’ve seen many youth leaders make mistakes because they allowed students to do something silly, assuming, “Oh, they know better. They won’t really run into traffic.” Don’t assume when a teenager’s safety is at issue.

• Take traffic laws seriously. When students are in your car, use seat belts and don’t cram eight students into four seats. You get the idea.

• Think through all outings. Make sure you’re aware of your surroundings and all possible outcomes.

Choose responsibility over student approval. If you’re building authentic relationships with your students, they’ll still love and respect you even when you have to “lay down a rule” or say no to stop a potentially risky situation.

As a youth ministry volunteer, you assume a high level of trust. Being responsible will benefit students, the youth ministry, the lead youth worker, the church, and parents.