Summer Edition

When I'm asked about what parents can do everyday (besides praying) that can make a huge difference in their kids' lives, I tell them three things that can make them "AAA Parents."

Affection. Everyone needs affection to thrive, but kids want affection from their parents. I'm convinced that one of reasons teenagers are so sexually promiscuous (especially girls) is because they lack affection from the significant male figure in their life. My parents were great, but they weren't overly affectionate, so I chose to change the script in how I parented. I pour affection on my kids through hugs, back rubs, and snuggling during TV time.

Affirmation. Mark Twain once said, "I can live for two months on one good compliment." Unfortunately, many kids go two months without any genuine affirmation from their parents. Through their words parents yield so much power to shape their kids. Imagine your child has a bank account and each encouragement, affirmation, positive comment, intentional and personal word of kindness is a deposit of a penny to their account. Each negative comment is like withdrawing a quarter. How is your child's bank account doing?

Attention. Simply stated, this means parents need to focus and engage on what's happening in their kids' lives. Giving kids attention means more than popping by their bedroom and waving goodnight -- it means tucking them in. It means more than asking how their day went -- it means asking and really listening to the answer and then asking more questions. It means more than making sure they get homework done -- it means helping and coaching in a way that they feel confident and empowered. Kids need to feel that they matter to their parents!

Parenting isn't easy. Intentional parenting is even more difficult, but the rewards your child will reap through affection, affirmation and attention are worth the difficulty it takes for parents to make these into daily habits!

The broad reach of teen social networking
According to Pew Internet & American Life Project's "Report on Teens, Social Media, and Privacy," released in May 2013, fully 95% of kids ages 12-17 use the Internet. Eighty-one percent of online teens use some form of social media. Sixty-seven percent of teen social media users visit social sites daily, and 42% visit several times a day.

Facebook is still the #1 social network for teens, but it's fading
While 94% of teen social media users say they have a Facebook profile, and 81% say that Facebook is social site they use most often, it appears that Facebook's teen appeal is fading. According to the Pew report, "Many teens expressed a waning enthusiasm for Facebook." Teens complain of too many adults on the site, advertising, and too much drama interacting with friends.

Teen Twitter use is increasing significantly
Teens largely ignored Twitter when it first appeared and those who used it found it chiefly as a way to stay current with celebrities. In 2009, only 8% of teens used Twitter. Today, the number of teens using Twitter has increased to 24%.

Why teens are migrating to Twitter
The reasoning starts with fewer adults on Twitter than Facebook. While 67% of online adults have Facebook profiles, only 16% are on Twitter. Further, Twitter's platform and character limit (140 characters) allows kids to express their thoughts, feelings, and what they are doing without the drama that Facebook's platform of longer posts, endless comments, and "likes" allows.

Advice for parents who allow kids to use Facebook and Twitter

1. Set the expectation that you will friend (Facebook) or Follow (Twitter) your teenager on their social media account. This requires you to establish your own Facebook and Twitter accounts.

2. Facebook: Use profile privacy settings to limit who can access your teen's content.

3. Twitter: Set Tweet privacy setting to "Protect my Tweets." This requires your teen to approve everyone who follows them, and then only displays tweets to those who have been approved. Without taking this step, anyone can follow your teen, and all tweets are available to the public. Make sure your teen approves you as a follower.