Intentionality
Hope Reformed Church7122623016
February Parent Newsletter
This month's newsletter topic is intentionality. In our busy world, it can get harder to plan intentional time. However, intentional time for your students is both beneficial for you and your student. Planning this special time shows you value your teen and sometimes during these times "needed" conversations that wouldn't happen on a daily basis happen. As you read this newsletter, you'll see examples and videos of what intentional time can look like, but know your time does not need to look exactly like these examples. Customize your time to what fits best for you and your student. Make it special! The emphasis is on the "intentionality". It is much needed! We hope you will think about planning your next intentional time with your student and we will be praying for you in this journey! Thanks for trusting us to help your students in their faith walk, and thank you for being a major influence in their life!
Youth Pastor Jay
Assistant Youth Director Trent
VIDEOS ABOUT INTENTIONALITY
Dads and Daughters video:
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/257632682/af60c47729
Moms and Sons video:
https://vimeo.com/parentministry/review/257631869/a84f593d80
Story from Youth Pastor Jay Van Gelder
Jay and familyI have been a youth pastor for 24 years and one thing that has always stuck with me is a story from the daughter (Amanda) of my former Senior Pastor Randy in Arizona. When Amanda was in my Sr. High Youth Group we were on a spiritual retreat and I asked the youth to draw a timeline of the three most significant times in their life that shaped who they are today. Amanda said with tears rolling down her cheek, with out a doubt one of the most significant times was when she was 13 years old and her dad took her on a cruise for three days and they studied the devotional book by Dannah Gresh, "And the Bride Wore White". At that time when she shared this on the spiritual retreat, I had two little daughters at home myself. As soon as I got home from the retreat, I told Shantel that I wanted to do something similar to that for our two daughters someday when they turned 13 years old. This story has always stuck with me because of how much it impacted Amanda and how throughout my ministry I have witnessed other parents have these intentional times with their kids, creating a lasting impact on their lives.
I as well wanted to create this intentional time with my two daughters to show how much I value my relationship with them, but also to help them to see and understand how important and valuable they are as young women. So two years ago, I gave Shayler options on what she wanted to do together. I did this because I wanted it to be important to her. My family and I love showing cattle. Shayler has always enjoyed showing cattle with me. We call it our Daddy/Daughter deal. So it was no surprise that Shayler picked the Super Bowl of cattle shows which is the National Western Stock Show in Denver, Colorado. During this time we went to rodeos and cattle shows during the day and then when we got back to our hotel we went through the devotional and book, "The Bride Wore White", which has an online curriculum that you can view and study each session on video. We had a blast as we hung out and discussed each chapter.
This curriculum has around eight sessions (we did two to three each day). At the end of the week, the curriculum suggests giving a gift as something special to remember this time together. So I gave Shayler a ring, symbolizing my promise to her that I'm always there when she needs me and I want to be there for her till the day her future husband asks me for her hand in marriage. This was such a great experience for the two of us and it will be something I will never forget as a parent.
Because it was so successful with Shayler, I also wanted to do something just as special for Kamdyn since she just turned 13 this year. I wanted to have a different event so not to duplicate the time I had with Shayler. Kamdyn decided she wanted to go on a three day cruise. Now I just want to take a moment to say and clarify, you and your daughter have to decide what is special for you. If you both love camping go camping, if you love to shop take her on a little shopping spree, what ever it is make it something that she will NOT FORGET. Special just for the two of you! What's important is the INTENTIONALITY and that you make it SPECIAL! Make sure they are away from distractions, such as seeing people they know. Doing this allows conversations to happen that wouldn't happen in your daily conversations. One reward I saw after this intentional time was the opportunity for my daughters to go and talk with my wife about the things they learned and the fun times we had together.
Pastor Jay
P.S. Moms if you are reading this do this with your sons as well and talk to them how to treat their girlfriend or wife someday.
P.S.S. And if you are a single parent take the time to do either the Girls Devotion or the Guys Devotion and make it special.- Jay and Kamdyn on cruise
STORY FROM JODY VULK, A HOPE YOUTH PARENT
Jody Vulk, a Hope Youth parent, shares her family's experience of a planned, intentional time with their oldest son on a topic that needed to be discussed. She humbly admits that it's a topic they don't discuss on an everyday basis, but needed to make a special time to discuss it. She also talks about the transformation that came from it. Remember, Jody is vulnerable in sharing her story because she knows how important this is for families, so please thank God for giving Jody the strength of being vulnerable, and pray for her and her family as they continue this journey with their youngest son.
- Jody and family
My son was in fifth grade when we became aware of some issues that he was facing at school. We knew that kids create their own ideas if they don’t know the truth. We wanted him to be informed of the facts of sexuality without our own stories or emotions getting in the way. I was fully capable of telling him of the human body’s biology and the complications of intercourse, but I wasn’t prepared to share my personal story, nor was I capable of being authoritative on Biblical truths. We knew we needed help. Passport to Purity was a course that I was familiar with, but I only knew of it being designed for girls. We discovered a version for boys. I bought the CD set. Jason planned a long weekend for the two of them. I sent them off with projects to be done throughout the weekend as part of the course. Jason purchased Lewis a cross necklace to commemorate the weekend. As time passes, he can refer to that cross as a declaration of manhood.
Lewis came back from that weekend with eyes widened and a true understanding of intercourse. He made a commitment to abstinence. The truth (and middle school) set him free. His friend base has changed. He has matured. Now in eighth grade, I am looking at doing a follow up of his weekend while his father and brother are gone on their weekend excursion. I want to make sure that those discussions will still be remembered as he continues to mature.
Sexual intimacy is not something that we readily talk about in our family. But I want my children to be armed with the facts. This program has given us the tools to discuss these matters fully and faithfully with our boys. Jason and I pray for their future wives’ wisdom, character, sexual and spiritual wellbeing. We pray that our guidance through this program will lay a foundation for them to refer to as they mature. Most of all, we pray that Jesus continues to be a guiding light in their lives.
Jody Vulk
- Lewis camping with his dad