June 2020

When I first began mountain biking, I quickly found it was not like the type of bike riding I did when I was a kid. It's not "jump on the bike and ride all day." It's much different! There are so many moving parts like front and back sprockets, brake levers, and multiple shifting systems. Add to this the extreme terrain, and it gets very confusing.

Today, I own most of the gear that is "required" for the sport. Basically, I have everything needed except for...the needed skills and the personal coaching.

On a recent ride I began to think about how little I know about this sport. I really need a coach/mentor. I have so many technical questions. I'm not always sure when is the best time to shift on different slopes. I have front shocks that need to be adjusted based on the terrain and I don't have the slightest idea what to do. My list of "how to" questions could fill pages.

As I was riding and thinking about my need for a mountain bike coach/mentor, I began to think about the teenagers in our homes and the process of faith development. What are we doing with all their questions about following Christ? Do we even know the questions they're asking (or not asking)? Or, do we assume they'll catch everything about Jesus as they begin their "ride with him"?

Much like I need a riding coach, teenagers need a "Jesus coach." While mountain biking is much more complex than "jump on a bike"...so following Jesus is much more complex than a simple "go to church."

Could it be that we, as parents, have become good at getting kids involved at church...but we're not so good at coaching them on how to walk with Jesus? I fear that if they don't know how to walk with Jesus, when they graduate from high school and go on to college and their adult lives, they will also graduate away from church and perhaps even Jesus.

 

Some questions: (1) Do your kids know that you want to coach them in the ways of Jesus? (2) Do they know they can ask simple questions and have a confidence that you will care enough not to laugh at their questions? (3) Do they know that in you, they have someone to "ride with" even though they struggle and occasionally fall?

Jesus spent most of his time with the few, pouring into their lives. I'd like to suggest that your "few" are living within the walls of your home. They don't need to be told to "go to church," they need you: a coaching, listening, loving, and caring you.

For better or worse, media has a powerful influence in our kids' lives! Today's media sends nonstop communication, delivering its voice through television, movies, Internet, music, magazines, books, computers, smartphones, tablets, and more. Frankly, it is impossible for parents to have control over every message that is being sent to our kids.

Because parents can't control all of their kids' media consumption, some feel lost, hopeless, or paralyzed when facing today's technology and media. We may complain, but it is time for us to quit whining, and do something. Don't give up. Don't bail out. There are things we can do and environments we can foster to create a media-safe home.

Watch, Listen, and Read. Creating a media-safe home requires that you become a student of the culture. The easiest way to get a handle on what media your kids are consuming is to watch what they watch, listen to what they listen to, and read what they read. Look for every opportunity to ask and learn from your kids.

Evaluate. Evaluate everything you see and hear with your kids. When you evaluate, don't just play the bad-guy role. At times, this will likely be necessary, but also tell your kids what you like and why, and help them learn to discern what they are putting into their minds.

Examine Your Own Behavior. Too many parents want their kids to make good media choices but aren't willing to discipline themselves. Remember the old adage: Children see, children do. Set the example you want your kids to follow.

Discuss and Listen; Don't Lecture. Anytime we can truly dialog with our kids about media use and influence, it is better than any lecture or sermon we could ever deliver to them. Ultimately, you may choose to disagree with your kids' opinions but they will at least feel you were willing to listen.

Develop Clear Expectations. Work together with your teens to come up with clearly expressed expectations about media consumption and use of the devices that deliver media. As technology changes rapidly, you'll need to revisit the expectations from time to time to keep them relevant and current.