November 2021 Newsletter

Thanksgiving is a treasured holiday in the lives of most American families. Yet, because of the tendency to romanticize Thanksgiving Days gone by, we can set the bar of expectation so high that we're bound to experience stress when the reality doesn't match up to the expectation.

Here are five tips on reducing the stress level of Thanksgiving Day:

1. Manage Your Traditions. Thanksgiving family traditions are great, but if not managed, we can end up serving the tradition rather than the tradition serving us. So don't make the location or menu items the heart of your traditions. Rather, focus on the traditions of the heart: the relationships you get to renew each Thanksgiving Day, the conversations, the laughter, and the love.

2. Acknowledge the Truth: There is No "Perfect" Thanksgiving. Give up pursuing the dream of a perfect Thanksgiving. It doesn't exist. Fortunately, perfection isn't required for a "happy" Thanksgiving. When something goes awry, as it inevitably will, how you respond to the situation will determine your stress level.

3. Evaluate Your Expectations. There's nothing wrong with having expectations. Knowing what they are can help you adjust them to be more in line with reality. So, here are four questions: 1) What are you planning? 2) Why are you planning it? 3) Is it meaningful? 4) Is it reasonable to believe you can accomplish what you are planning?

4. Create Some Margin. Hosting Thanksgiving at your home is no "holiday." While it may be a labor of love, it's still labor! The person or persons most responsible often get run ragged. Carve out some space for yourself by sharing responsibilities.

5. Don't Take the Bait! Most every family has at least one member who loves to stir the pot and push others' buttons. And it seems that T-Day is often the pot-stirring, button-pushing high holy holiday. Expect that some snarky comment will be made. Let it go, or make light of it. These comments are almost always an exercise in fishing. Remember, the fish that gets hooked, is the fish that takes the bait.

Most of us are sentimental when it comes to Thanksgiving -- and its cherished traditions -- at least during the weeks leading up to the holiday. The truth is that for many, Thanksgiving boils down to a lot of work! From making travel arrangements, and getting the family packed and ready to go, to planning the dinner menu and shopping, and coordinating who is responsible for what... it's easy for families to get cranky and frustrated in the run-up to Thanksgiving. Too often, it seems a celebration of giving thanks is the last thing on our minds as T-Day arrives.

Don't forget that if it's Thanksgiving season, then "Murphy's Law" is in effect. You can count on something not going as planned. As I've heard it said, "Stuffing happens." It's no wonder we can so easily ignore the "giving thanks" part of this holiday.

So, allow me to simply remind you that there is always at least one good reason to give thanks, whatever your circumstances this Thanksgiving season, and it is this: God is good.

Here are three of my favorite ways that God displays His goodness:

1) God is good because He gives us free and amazing gifts! Do we deserve God's kindness, mercy, and forgiveness? No. But God loves us and gives us these three free gifts! This is a reason to be thankful!

2) God is good because He loves us unconditionally! His love comes with no strings attached. He loves us not for what we've done but for who we are. This is a core truth about God, and a reason to be thankful!

3) God is good because He offers us life forever. He offers us life to the full---here and now (see John 10:10,) and someday, life in heaven. This too is a great reason to be thankful!

As parents, we set the pace for our families as to whether or not Thanksgiving Day will only be a day of family, friends, food, football, and fun or whether the bar will be raised to a holiday where giving thanks is at the focus of the celebration, and not only an afterthought.

God is always good, so what are you waiting for? Thanksgiving Day? There's no need to wait. Make November a season for your family to give thanks!

Praise the Lord! Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His faithful love endures forever. ---Psalm 106:1 (NLT)