The adolescent years seem to hit from out of nowhere, and they often leave parents wondering exactly what has happened to that relatively intelligent and well-mannered child they used to call their son or daughter. Well, while it's true there is no way you can accurately predict exactly when adolescence will begin, there are ways you can begin preparing for it so that it doesn't seem like such a startling jolt when it does hit.
1. Regroup. How you parent your child needs to evolve as they grow into adolescence. You've got to be a bit more flexible during the teen years, but temper that flexibility by remaining fair and firm.
2. Recognize. Be sure to recognize the milestones in your teen's life. The 13th birthday is a big one, as are the first prom, being able to stay out later, getting a driver's license, and high school graduation. In marking these milestones you're releasing them from childhood into adulthood in small, age-appropriate steps.
3. Relate. A good first objective is to "listen more and lecture less." It's also helpful when you remember to "major on the majors" and "minor on the minors." In other words, try not to make a big deal out of issues that really may not be all that important while keeping an eye open for big life issues.
4. Relax. Adolescence--with all of its quirks--is perfectly normal! We all went through it, and lived to tell the tale. So will our kids. Of course, relaxing does not give you permission to avoid coaching and correcting your kids! Be proactive, striving to be fair, firm, and consistent with discipline.
5. Remember. Recall your own adolescence: think about the kinds of things you went through and how your parents handled things when you messed up. Borrow from their good examples and learn from the bad. Don't keep score of every little mistake your child makes as a teenager. Rather, Enjoy your kids' adolescence. These are fun and foundational years for them -- and for you!