March Parent Newsletter

Parents are mentors to their kids. Studies tell us that for good or bad, you are their most influential person in the most important stages of their life. From the day our kids are born, we become mentors, involved in the process of leaving a legacy to a new generation.

To better understand what it means to mentor our kids, let's look at four biblical examples of mentoring:

1. Jesus and His Disciples: Being Real. Jesus spent time "doing life" with His disciples. Like your family, they lived out their daily lives together. They observed how Jesus carried out His day. They watched Him and they knew His habits. Of course, Jesus was perfect and we are not. The thing is, kids would have a very difficult time relating to parents who were perfect, so just being real is one of the great ways of mentoring.

Your kids need to see your everyday life, your faith, even times when you are vulnerable. I heard a missionary tell an audience once, "You are the only Jesus somebody knows." You are the only Jesus your child knows.

2. Eli and Samuel: Instruction in Hearing the Word of God. You probably remember the story: Eli was young Samuel's teacher. While Eli was asleep, God spoke to Samuel. Samuel didn't recognize the voice of God, so three times he interrupted Eli's sleep. Finally, Eli figured out God was speaking to Samuel and Eli taught Samuel how to respond to the word of God.

The most effective way to mentor our kids in hearing the word of God is for our children to see us reading and listening to His Word. Through this we teach them, and another generation is able to hear and respond to God.

3. Moses and Joshua: Passing on Wisdom. Moses was very intentional about passing on his wisdom and preparing Joshua for the Promised Land. You, too, are in a relationship where it is your job to pass on wisdom to your kids at appropriate times in their lives.

When our kids were growing up, Cathy and I discovered that it was best to find a teachable moment in the everyday happenings of life to engage in meaningful conversations with them. You have wisdom to pass along. Find ways to creatively share it with your kids so it doesn't feel like school or a lecture.

4. Paul and Timothy: Sharing Life. Paul called Timothy his son and treated him as such even though Timothy had other parents. As they lived, worked, and traveled together, Paul mentored Timothy. It is in the daily sharing of life that your habits, character, and lifestyle will bless your kids.

Do you know what the number one song on the charts is right now? Do you know what kids are gleaning from this song?

I always find it fascinating to discover what young people are listening to in their headphones. Sadly, most parents who interact with their kids about their music only ask, "That's song's not one of those EXPLICIT songs, right?"

In my parent workshops I encourage parents to approach the conversation a different way. After all, that EXPLICIT tag only tells you if the song has curse words.
Take the number one song on the charts right now, Timber, by Pitbull and Ke$ha. This song is NOT EXPLICIT because it doesn't have curse words. So it's fair game, right?
Try Googling the lyrics. Here's Pitbull's opening lines:

The bigger they are, the harder they fall
These big-iddy boys are dig-gidy dogs
I have 'em like Miley Cyrus, clothes off
Twerking in their bras and thongs, timber
Face down, booty up, timber
That's the way we like to--what?--timber...

Nice and clean, eh?

So how should parents respond? I'll tell you how they should NOT respond... overreaction.

Instead, turn your overreaction into interaction. Parents have an amazing opportunity to use today's music as a springboard to discussion. The majority of today's young people really like music. Ask a kid about their music, and chances are, you'll probably get them talking. This provides parents with an opportunity to listen and learn about their kid.

But parents should also feel free to chime in on the dialogue. That doesn't mean turn the dialogue into a monologue (aka, a boring speech from Dad). This means, use questions to lead them to truth.

If you don't know where to go with this conversation, don't worry. TheSource4Parents.com provides FREE Music Discussions on their Music Discussions page. Right now, you can find full discussions for songs in the top 10 like Timber and The Monster. Each of these free discussion guides provide questions, scripture and a wrap up.
Do you know what's in your kid's headphones?