March 2017

No person, from a Christ-follower to a staunch atheist, is exempt from the challenges and struggles that come along with the journey through this life. Still, I think one of the biggest differences between the Christ-followers and those who are not -- is that the Christ-follower has access to an incredible source of hope. This type of hope is powerful. It makes a difference. It is a key component of the Christian life. The Christian's hope is more than just a fanciful wish. It's the assurance that God will keep his promises to us. We read in Hebrews 10:23, "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."

If you are a mother, there have likely been days when you've struggled with hope. Perhaps your kids have been misbehaving, or you aren't feeling the kind of support from your family that you need in order to thrive. You might be concerned about what kind of adult your child will grow into. Maybe you just can't see beyond this "season" in life. If any of these scenarios ring true, let me share some special words of encouragement. If you can raise your head above the waterline of anxiety and look to the Lord as your source of strength and hope, I believe you will find relief for your soul.

The hope you have makes a big difference on your children. You can give your kids a tremendous gift by sharing hope with them. Passing along hope is a wonderful legacy. It begins, of course, by modeling the Christian life openly before your children. You plant these seeds of hope in their lives as you respond with hope even in the midst of life's most difficult challenges. When you live life with hope, you teach your kids that God holds your (and their) future safely in His hands.

Let me leave you with some practical characteristics of moms who exhibit the power of hope:

- Hopeful moms are optimistic. They look for the best in situations and in their kids instead of picking out the worst.

- Hopeful moms focus on the future not on the past. They look forward to opening new doors when other doors have closed.

- Hopeful moms view problems as opportunities.

- Hopeful moms have a real view of circumstances but refuse to resort to cynicism.

- Hopeful moms understand that God still cares for them and their families in the midst of difficult situations.

At some level, most parents fear the possibility that using discipline with their kids might drive them away. Yet the reality is that discipline is needed, and (for most kids) it works.

Many kids aren't mature enough to realize that if their parents don't ground them; if they don't attach consequences to actions that are outside the established boundaries, their parents are not acting in love toward them.

Healthy discipline is a sign that parents love their children. Let's think about God for a moment. The Scriptures tell us that He disciplines us because He loves us: "My child, don't reject the Lord's discipline, and don't be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights." ---Proverbs 3:11-12 (NLT) This passage in Proverbs ties God's discipline to the human discipline a parent provides to his or her child, and this is how we know that discipline (provided in a healthy way) is a demonstration of love.

I believe the healthiest and most effective way to discipline teenagers is to set up consequences for violating boundaries ahead of time. When consequences are set ahead of time, you set up the dynamic where it's not you versus your child, but rather you and your child versus the consequences. For example, if my daughter comes home late, missing her curfew, and I meet her at the door, I can tell her, "I'm so bummed that you missed your curfew and now you have to spend the next three weeks with Mom and me."

I don't have to get angry. I don't have to yell. I don't even have to raise my voice. I can actually be empathetic toward my daughter, because the reality is that we agreed to the consequence ahead of time. It's my daughter and me against the consequence.

No teenager is ever going to go up to a parent and say, "Thank you. Thank you. I love it when you ground me!" But, loving guidelines and strong parental boundaries are a sign of love. Beyond applying consequences, your kids need you to help them process bad decisions and help guide them toward learning from the mistakes they've made. They need your coaching and encouragement to build confidence that they are capable of making good decisions.

Your kids are not going to ask you to ground them or bring more discipline into their lives, but they need it! Discipline is a sign of love! Just make sure you discipline in a reasonable and loving ways!